31 for 21 Day 24, A Father's Love

Austin is exactly 8 months old today and Ryan decided it was time to "make an appearance" in our blog. He's been wanting to contribute a post for a while. I promised him I wouldn't correct any of his grammatical or spelling errors. Here are his true and beautiful words:


An entry from Daddy. Hello everyone, I figured it was about time to write a blog. Lets start from the beginning. When Kayla first got pregnant, it was unplanned, but I quickly found myself excited about the thought of being a dad. During the pregnancy, all I could think about was raising a great man. I wanted to raise a man that other men looked up to. I wanted to help him succeed in school where I screwed up. I wanted him to be a great athlete. I was going to raise him to go far in life. Much farther than I could go. As most parents, I wanted him to be better than me, to have a better life than me.

During the pregnancy, we did find out that there was a slight chance that Austin could have Down Syndrome. Being such a slight chance, I didn’t think much of it. I don’t guess I wanted to think much of it. He was my lil’ guy. It couldn’t be.


The day he was born was the happiest moment I’ve ever known. I have never felt that much joy as I did when he was finally here. He was beautiful. He was perfect. Then here the doctors came again with the talk of down syndrome. I couldn’t see it in him. He was perfect in my eyes. Then, after we finally got the test, we received the test results. I remember we had a friend over visiting, Jessi, and she was holding him when our dr. gave us the news. Austin does have down syndrome. I remember Jessi gave Austin to me and said I should hold him. I cried and just looked at him. I love him so much and all I could think was that I could never love him any less. Looking into his eyes, how could I ever tell him that something was wrong with him. He didn’t ask to be ‘different’.


During the following days, I did a lot of thinking. I felt I needed to re-think my approach on how I was going to raise him. I’m so blessed to have married Kayla because she immediately started doing research so she could educate us. During my re-think, if you will, I came to a humbling realization. All of the goals and dreams I had for Austin growing up, all the ones that I wasn’t sure what to think of now. I realized that MY hopes and goals for HIM didn’t matter. It wasn’t my job as his father to help him meet MY expectations. He wasn’t brought into this world to meet my goals or live out my unfinished dreams. My job as his father is to help him reach HIS goals, HIS dreams, to do everything I can to help him reach all of HIS potential. He deserves everything I can give him.


Eight months have gone by and now I look at quite a few things differently. First and foremost, I don’t view down syndrome as a bad thing. It’s not. He’s just such a wonderful child. You can’t look at him without having your heart warmed . He is full of so much love and sweetness. Anyone who has met him will tell you that. He is the biggest and most profound blessing I have ever been witness to in my life and his down syndrome is a part him. A good part. He has already taught me so much about life and love. He has the most wonderful soul and it shines. If love for a child can fill the hearts of the parents, my lil’ mans’ extra chromosome has caused our hearts to overflow. We have been told that he is lucky to have us as his parents but believe me, we’re the lucky ones. I love you lil’ Ozzy, happy eight months!